Unsuccessful Attempts at Seducing Gipsy Danger
by Icy Metal and Frost Blue Roses
Summary: When Gipsy Danger transfers to the Shatterdome in Hong Kong, Striker Eureka and Crimson Typhoon are pitted against each other to see who can successfully woo Gipsy while Cherno Alpha, having discovered the wonder that is the Internet, is purposefully going out of his way to make things increasingly awkward for all parties involved. General weirdness, rude humor and hilarity ensues.


**Author's Note: Hi, guys. This little something was inspired by another fanfic I read and decided to try my hand at shipping the newest pairing that was brought to my attention: Gipsy Danger/Striker Eureka. The other guy's story played off the fact that the Jaegers are sentient and I thought that sounded very interesting, so here I am now shipping Gipsy and Striker. Also take note that Gipsy is the only female Jaeger and the others are male, so... Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine! I wish I own, but sadly, I don't. I also don't own the lyrics I scattered around the story either. Those belong to their respective owners.**

**Leave me a review! Leave me a review! Leave me a review! Please?**

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_Striker Eureka Meets Gipsy Danger_

"Did you hear?"

The question hung in the air for a while the two Jaegers paused in their conversation of the previous battle to regard Cherno Alpha as he joined the group. Striker Eureka spared a glance over at Crimson Typhoon for a moment before expelling air through his vents and answered, "Hear what? Let me guess: you overheard your pilots are having trouble discerning your sex?"

"No!" Cherno shouted, shoulders squaring with indignation. "Pentecost is bringing in a new Jaeger to the team. A Mark III."'

Striker scoffed. "Mark III? The humans still manufacture those? If he still works, this guy must be from the start of the war."

"Actually, Striker... about what you said about the new Jaeger—"

"Hi."

The trio jumped, not expecting to be talked to, least of all hearing a female voice. Slowly, Striker twisted around to meet the newcomer to come face to face with a gun metal gray robot with deep red markings on her helm and arms, her visor shining a bright yellow as she regarded each of the mechs before her. "I'm Gipsy Danger, the new transfer here."

It took a few moments for any of the male Jaegers to do or say anything, sputtering air through their vents in surprise before Crimson finally mustered up some semblance of intelligence and pointed at her. "You're a girl," he said stupidly and Gipsy responded by tilting her head to the side in wonderment and shook her head.

"Wow... when was the last time you've ever seen a female Jaeger? Long enough to be taken by surprise by one apparently. Well, I'll leave you to your bromancing with each other and I'll be seeing you around," she said, turning to leave with a wave of her servo and walked away, turning a corner and disappearing from sight.

"The new Jaeger is a _female_?!"

With that startled proclamation, the three scrambled for the corner and peered around it, spotting the newcomer to the base and watched as Gipsy waltzed about the expansive room, sashaying her hips as she did so. From time to time, Gipsy Danger would bend over to acknowledge a human looking to speak with her and occasionally pausing beside a catwalk for humans to come to be on the Jaeger's eye level.

Striker couldn't help leaning backwards as he observed the female and his turbine let out a low hum of approval. "Mmm, that is a prime piece of work right there. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful!"

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaammmmnnnn! Dat ass!" Cherno exclaimed quietly, unable to feel the tiniest bit mischievous and logged onto the Internet through his internal connections with the control center.

The sound of the chorus for "_Baby Got Back_" blaring over the P.A. system made everybody jump in surprise and the intended target's head snapped up in time to see Cherno jump out from his hiding place with his back to her, squatting somewhat and arched his back before giving his ass a shake and jumping backwards in her direction, much to the humans' amusement... and Gipsy's embarrassment. "Baby got back!" Cherno crowed, letting out a loud cackle before turning around to face the female Jaeger frozen in place with her embarrassment as he continued to pull provocative and sensual dances moves on her, namely pelvic thrusts and grabbing his crotch plating and letting out loud noises as he did so.

Striker and Crimson were still where Cherno left them, torn between laughing till they offlined temporarily or putting a stop to their friend until Striker made the decision to do something. "Bloody hell! Cherno Alpha! Leave the poor girl alone!" Striker shouted, tackling his friend to the ground and abruptly cut off the obnoxious tune as he dragged his companion away, not before turning to face the flustered female Jaeger and saying, "Sorry you had to see that."

**XxXxX**

"He shook his ass at me, Mako!" Gipsy exclaimed, unable to keep from sounding scandalized at the _very_ recent memory of her new teammate and his odd way of seducing her.

The Chinese woman watched the female Jaeger pacing the floor with a mixture of sympathy and amusement, keeping a hand to her mouth to disguise a smile to try and show that Mako was in fact feeling sorry for the twenty five story machine. "He didn't try to touch you, did he? If he did, then it would have been increasingly awkward," she said finally, getting Gipsy to snap to attention.

"What do I do?! He acts like he hasn't seen a female Jaeger since he rolled off the assembly line!"

"If he tries anything funny, do what any woman would do in your position." Mako shrugged.

Gipsy Danger's head tilted to the side in curiosity. "And what does a human female do if a male tries to come on her, Mako?"

"Make a loud noise and scream sexual harassment. Trust me, someone will get him away from you, be it Cherno Alpha's pilots or the other Jaegers," Mako ensured, a wicked gleam coming to her eyes when Gipsy's yellow visor lit up, shining brightly in merriment of the proposed solution.

"Thank you, Mako. I'll take your word for it."

**XxXxX**

"What the hell's wrong with you?!" Striker ground out, delivering a sound whack to the other Jaeger's head. "Just because Gipsy's a girl doesn't mean you suddenly do _that_ to her! What was _that_ anyway?!"

Crimson Typhoon kept off to the side, letting Striker deal with their friend, snickering whenever the silver mech would deliver some damage to Cherno. "I tell you, man, Gipsy doesn't like you at all. From here on it, I doubt you can look at her without getting the 'evil eye' as the humans call it," he said, nearly toppling over when Cherno let out a high pitched whistle that suspiciously sounded like what the humans termed a wolf whistle.

"Ooh, baby! I approve!" Cherno cackled, getting rewarded with a human vehicle colliding with his face.

"Sexual harassment!" Gipsy screamed, making all humans and Jaegers alike jump at the volume before she threw yet another vehicle at him and ran.

The three male Jaegers stood there, thunderstruck at the female's actions before Crimson burst out laughing, "She _really_ doesn't like you!"

**XxXxX(one week later)XxXxX**

"Yo, Crimson," Striker murmured, nudging his companion with his elbow. "Here she comes."

Turning in the direction Striker indicated, the duo let out a small noise of longing as the female Jaeger walked past, unaware of Striker and Crimson's gazes on her. Gipsy paused in her wandering and turned her gaze to them, the yellow glow of her visor dimming in her suspicion of the male Jaegers and placed her hands on her hips. "What are you two looking at? Do I have Kaiju blood on me or something?"

"No! Never! I mean... you're good," Crimson blurted out, regaining his composure a few moments later as he scrambled to collect his poise in front of the female Jaeger.

"Riiiiiight. Anyway, I'm going for a short reconnaissance mission around the outer perimeter of the Shatterdome. So if Raleigh comes looking for me, be sure to pass the message along for me," Gipsy said finally, waving a servo their way and continued on her path towards the Jaeger sized door and disappeared outside. Silence reigned between the remaining mechs for some time before either decided to break it.

"Hoo, boy, she knows how to get you two all hot and bothered doesn't she?" Striker's pilot, Chuck, laughed, having watched the whole exchange between the three Jaegers and the ordeals that transpired between Gipsy and Cherno now being referred to as the "Gipsy Cherno Crisis" among the humans.

"Shut up or I'll squash you like a bug!" Striker roared, the volume of his voice making everyone jump. "You want 'hot and bothered', Chuck? I'll give you 'hot and bothered'! Come here!" Chuck let out a shout as a large metal hand reached for him and the dirty blonde bolted out of the mech's reach, not stopping until he was well within the human sized part of the Shatterdome.

"What I wouldn't give to have Gipsy Danger on my servo," Crimson mused whimsically, not even looking away from the exit the female Jaeger used to depart from their presence. Striker scowled behind his battle mask and made a sort of grinding sound in his turbine as he looked back to his companion. "What the hell makes you think Gipsy Danger would go for you? Chicks don't dig Jaegers that crawled out of a vat of radioactive waste that made them sprout a third arm!" he stated, crossing his servos across his broad chest plate.

Crimson Typhoon retaliated by making fists out of his hands and squared his shoulders. "Three is better than two. You wanna know why? This way I can hold her with two arms and cop a feel with the third," he said with no amount of tact whatsoever, not even noticing the indignant noise of the subject of their argument.

"Ladies, ladies! You're both pretty. If you've got nothing better to do than sit around bickering like an old married couple, I'm sure you can find the time to grow a pair and settle this like men! Until you get your priorities straightened out, you know where to find me," Gipsy said indignantly, storming past them with one servo extended outward and made a rude gesture to them as she went.

"Dun, dun, duuuunnnn!"

"Cherno, this isn't the time nor the place to be weird!"

The Mark I Jaeger let out a crazed laugh and remarked with, "At least I think she sort of tolerates me now. She told you to grow a pair!"

Indignant, Striker Eureka turned in the direction the irate female disappeared in and said, "I'm going to get her for that! There must be something to use against her as ammo!"

**XxXxX**

"Whatever you plan on doing, I advise against it. Gipsy may be an eligible bachelorette to you, but she's not going to come along quietly with you," Gipsy's pilot, Raleigh, said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. It's been nearly an hour since Striker Eureka and Crimson Typhoon found and cornered (read, picked him up and holding him at eye level in Striker's hand) the poor human and being bombarded with question after question about Gipsy Danger.

The mechs wouldn't be swayed by the human's words. "You can do better than that. Is there anything embarrassing she's done in the past? Gipsy just had to come along and deliver a low blow to our dignity!" Crimson exclaimed, making Raleigh cringe.

"Well, when we first took her out in the field, Yancy and I had an argument on where to get her to go all the while Gipsy kept walking. We eventually stopped her only after we realized she walked into a school," Raleigh shrugged. "At least it was a Saturday and nobody was in the building."

"Come on! You can do better than that! Hasn't she done anything else that would embarrass her? Surely you've walked in on her doing something weird, right?"

"Nope. Gipsy's good about not embarrassing herself when she leaves the Shatterdome."

**XxXxX**

"Striker, whatever you plan on doing with that, I would advise against it. This isn't going to end well for any of the parties involved," Chuck sighed, having walked in to catch his Jaeger covering the floor with lubricant ten minutes ago. The blonde shook his head, knowing full well the silver mech wasn't going to listen, leaving him with no choice but to hunker down and wait for whatever Striker was planning to be executed.

"Revenge will be mine!"

"Boo."

"Gaaah!"

The sudden appearance of Gipsy had caught Striker completely off guard as he jumped and unintentionally stepped into the lubricant. The sound of Striker falling on his back could be heard for miles just about as much as people could feel how hard he hit the ground, leaving a pretty impressive spider web crack in the floor.

Gipsy Danger didn't move or say anything for a moment, observing the fallen mech before letting out a bark of laughter and asked, "Now what were you saying about getting revenge on me? It looks like you just fell for your own little trick and that, my friend, is pitiful."

**XxXxX**

"I heard about your attempt at making Gipsy fall."

"Who hasn't? The people in the town on the other side of the state knows somewhere a Jaeger fell on his ass."

Crimson snickered, clearly amused at his friend's misfortune. "Ha! Epic fail! I'd say it was almost a win, but it wasn't!"

If Striker had a face capable of expression, he would have been glaring. "Shut up, Crimson!"

"Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you just give up and admit defeat that you can't beat me?"

"Never! I shall have my revenge!" With that, Striker ran away cackling like a madman, leaving Gipsy and Crimson behind.

"Da da daaaaaaa!"

"Cherno! Knock it off already!"

"Look at my horse! My horse is amazing! Give it a lick!"

Sparing a glance at Crimson, Gipsy cycled air through her vents in exasperation and marched to where the Mark I Jaeger had hidden himself and took hold of Cherno by the arm and dragged him away.

**XxXxX**

"Gipsy, where's Cherno Alpha? His pilots are looking for him."

The female Jaeger allowed herself to feel rather smug at the question as she tilted her head to look down at her pilot. "He must've gone for a walk."

Raleigh crossed his arms, unconvinced. "Riiiigggghhht. I asked the other two Jaegers you were with and they say you dragged him off the base."

"..."

"Gipsy, what did you do?"

"Nothing..."

**XxX****xX(Twenty minutes earlier)XxXxX**

"I like turtles."

"If you don't stop that you're going to regret it!"

"I've got balls of steel!"

"That's it! Come here!" Gipsy grabbed hold of the older Jaeger and threw him over the edge of the platform of the Shatterdome and into the water below. The resulting splash was more than enough to satisfy Gipsy as she dusted her hand servos off and pivoted on a heel to head back inside the base.

**XxXxX(Now)XxXxX**

"I'm back!"

Everyone that heard the proclamation turned to the Jaeger sized entrance to see Cherno Alpha walk in, water and a wide assortment of sea life from fish to seaweed dripping off his chassis, leaving massive puddles on the floor as he went. "It's such a happy day to go swimming!" he exclaimed, followed by a very loud recording of a man screaming, "YEAH!" accompanied by guitar riffs before it cut off again.

"Gipsy!" Raleigh exclaimed, "I can't believe you did that!"

The female Jaeger seemed indifferent. "I can 'cause I did it. You should have seen the epic splash that came when he hit the water!"

"Let's go swimming!" Cherno screamed, making all those in earshot flinch.

"No."

"Swimming! Naked!"

"_NO_!"

"Swimming naked! With gummy bears and Kaiju! Oh, my God! Gipsy!" He shouted again, now grasping the female Jaeger by the arms and shook her. "Swim with me!"

"If you keep at it, I'll pitch you back in the ocean with those Godforsaken gummy bears!" Gipsy roared, clearly having had enough of the older Jaeger and shoved him away from her towards Striker and Crimson.

"What's a gummy bear?"

Striker shrugged, taking hold of Cherno's arms and dragged him away with his companion in tow. "I think it's some kind of food. Let's go."

**XxXxX**

SPLASH!

Striker and Crimson watched the water as it spilled over onto the platform from the amount of force behind the cause of the splash, studying the waves intensely before they both preformed a very human like gesture with each other and bumped fists.

"Gipsy's right. That splash was epic!" Striker cackled, crouching down to get a closer look at the agitated surface.

"How long do you think it'll take for him to get back?"

"I dunno. Guess we'll figure it out when he gets back. After all he did say it was a nice day to go swimming," he shrugged, turning to head back inside.

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**Author's Note: So... how'd I do, guys? Did I do good? Awesome? Bad? Terrible? Let me know in the reviews! This may or may not remain a oneshot pending on the feedback I get, so if you'd like to see this be continued on with another one or two chapters, let me know!**


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